And so it ends . . . .

New Year's Eve. A time for reflections about the past year and preparation for the New Year. I may do that in another post in the near future, but the title of this post does not refer to the end of the calendar year.

Today is the last day that my law firm - Ross, Dixon & Bell, LLP - will exist. We will be closed for the holiday and over the weekend and will reopen on Monday morning as Troutman Sanders. We will have new computers, be on a new network, have new signs in the elevator lobbies, and I will have hundreds of new partners. Later in the month we will all move across town into the existing Troutman Sanders office space. While there is a lot to look forward to in this transition, today is a day of reflection. A lot of my colleagues are sending emails to everyone expressing their thoughts, but after a while it becomes hard to say it differently without completely violating the socially acceptable limits on the length of an email. So, I turn here, despite the fact that it is unlikely that any of them will read this.

Ross, Dixon & Masback was formed 25 years ago when a few people left another Washington, DC firm to do something different. I did not join the firm until 1997, after practicing with another firm for over three years. By that time, Skip Masback, one of the founders, had heard his calling and left the practice of law to become a preacher. I have met Skip a few times, but I can't say that I really know him.

I have told the story of my decision to join RDM to a lot of recruits over the years. I had decided to leave my old firm and had a lot of interviews with firms in DC. But, the interview at RDM was different. It wasn't just that the first attorney I met with was wearing jeans, on a Tuesday, allegedly because it "looked like it may rain." It wasn't just that one of the senior partners never took his feet off of his desk and ended the interview after ten minutes saying "I've decided that you should get an offer, so why don't we get you to someone else that may want more time." It wasn't just that when I was introduced to Stu Ross in the hallway, he suddenly ran back into his office to put on his shoes and then came back out and said "I can't really meet someone without my shoes on." It wasn't just that another partner instead of asking me about my legal experience and law school asked me about my worst ever summer job and said he was interested in finding people that "got it." It was everything. It was the way that people interacted. It was the way that people were talking to secretaries and paralegals and the folks in the mail room. It was an overall feeling. I remember telling Tracy after the interview - "I really hope that I get an offer."

It turned out that what I experienced during that interview was real. There have definitely been ups and downs over the past 11+ years, but what made it special was the relationships that we have with one another. In trying to explain the atmosphere, I used to tell new attorneys - "I think it would be safer to walk into Stu's office and tell him off than it would be to raise your voice to or mistreat Shirley Banks [our former housekeeper, who sadly died in 2003]." In the time that I have been here, although we have generally stayed at around 50 attorneys in DC, 25 partners and 70 other attorneys associated with the DC office have come and gone. What is amazing is that most have left on very good terms and I think would say that they are better for the time that they spent at the firm. There were many marriages and births. And, sadly, a few deaths.

This firm, first RDM and now Ross, Dixon & Bell, has supported me through some of my darkest personal times (e.g., our first miscarriage) and through some of my brightest days. It has given me opportunities that I almost certainly never would have experienced anywhere else (e.g., the chance to take three months off in 2007) and supported my involvement in community service and missions work (e.g., the partners largely funding the costs associated with taking a 12 person team to Waveland, Mississippi shortly after Katrina). Though the people here are of many different faiths, I think it is very fair to say that we have attempted to heed the advice found in Galatians 6:2 "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

Ultimately, for better or for worse (you can be the judge of that), I am who I am - both as a lawyer and as a person - in part because of this firm. Other than Tracy, my family, and a few friends growing up and some from college, I haven't been associated with anyone or anything for longer than the almost twelve years that I have been part of this firm.

So, today is sad. But, it is really only the institution that is going away. Most (though to my very deep regret not all) of the people are still going to be together. A special place may be going away, but what really made it special is moving on and there is no reason that we can't do the same thing (on an even larger scale) as part of Troutman Sanders.

Gifts

Finally, it comes to an end. Life can begin its return to "normal." The non-stop gift receiving extravaganza that my kids have been on since Christmas eve has come to an end. Seriously - five days of being somewhere or with someone that involved the kids receiving gifts. I feel sorry for Tracy who has to deal with the kids today on this first day in so long that will not involve ripping open packages and seeing what gets added to their bounty. I got to escape to the relative sanity of the office, where it will be very quiet this week with so many people out.

I, too, have received a lot of great gifts over the past few days - things that I will enjoy very much. But, in reflecting on this Christmas season, I think that what I will remember (or at least what I hope that I will remember) is the reminder of the love and importance of friends. I am very, very blessed to be able to honestly say that my wife is my best friend in the world - the person that I most want to share everything with. I take that for granted all too often.

Through the tragedy of Jean's murder, I also have had the chance to see and talk to some of my best friends from growing up (elementary, middle and high school). People that I lost touch with for no real reason. People that were very important parts of my life for a long time. What I found most amazing was how easy it was to be with them, how comfortable, how honest to share a loving hug and support one another. Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." It was true - that love, that I didn't even know was love at the time, was still there.

I also had sincere, heartfelt expressions of support and love from friends that I have only come to know in the past several years - friends that didn't even know that I knew Jean.

There is another passage from Proverbs that says:

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Proverbs 18:24 (NIV). I was reminded of that this Christmas season. Friends are not the same as companions. Friends are not just temporary. Friends aren't just there for the parties and the good times. Friends don't stop being friends just because they don't see or talk to each other for a long time. Friends love at all times and stick closer than a brother. Friends are a gift from God.

What is Christmas All About?

I'm not sure there is any greater moment in a Christmas special than the moment when Charlie Brown asks this question and Linus, drawing on Luke 2:8-14, provides the answer:



Charlie Brown: I guess you were right, Linus. I shouldn't have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I really don't know what Christmas is all about.



[shouting in desperation]



Charlie Brown: Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?



Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.



[moves toward the center of the stage]



Linus Van Pelt: Lights, please.



[a spotlight shines on Linus]



Linus Van Pelt: "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"



[Linus picks up his blanket and walks back towards Charlie Brown]



Linus Van Pelt: That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.



A Charlie Brown Christmas (Charles M. Schulz, 1965) (with thanks to IMDb where I found the quotes)

Let every heart prepare Him room

“So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.”

Luke 2:4-7 (NIV)

Trying to get ready for Christmas, I read these words last week. A lot has been made about the simple, humble beginning of Christ's time here on earth. The fact that the Savior of the World was placed in a manager. Born out back in the barn.

Beyond that image, even the way the whole event is relayed stresses the simplicity. First (at least as far as I can tell), Luke is the only Biblical author who really talks about the birth. Matthew tells us about the angel visiting Joseph, mentions that the child was born and named Jesus, and then picks up with the visit of the magi. Mark skips right to John the Baptist baptizing in the desert region and Jesus being baptized in the Jordan. John basically starts at the same point. I find it fascinating that the details surrounding this world changing event that we celebrate tomorrow are not more widely reported.

Past that, the images that Luke shares are straightforward - "she gave birth to her firstborn, a son." That's it. To the point. No "and so the son of God was brought into this world"; no "and so the salvation of all who believe began"; "no "and thus everything was changed forever."

The simplicity, when viewed in contrast to the hustle and bustle, run from one place to the next, have to bake dozens of cookies, stressful time of year that we have turned it into, really speaks to me.

But, what I have thought about the most since reading those words is the last phrase "because there was no room for them in the inn." Thinking about the opportunity that I have every day (but most particularly tomorrow) to celebrate the coming of Christ, thinking about the opportunities that I have to welcome Him into my heart, and thinking about how many times I essentially say – “sorry, there is no room.” Thinking about how many times I relegate Him to a small corner of my heart, like the barn out back. The story of the birth of Jesus is interesting and powerful when viewed solely as an account of historical events. It is much more sobering and difficult when viewed as an account of current events.

So, as the carol says, “let every heart prepare Him room.” Let’s not push Jesus out back, or into a corner of our hearts. Let’s not tell Him that there is no room in the inn. As we celebrate His birth anew, let’s change that. Make all the room that we can. Open our hearts fully to Him and warmly invite Him in. Today, tomorrow and every day after that.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Personal Comfort

Still trying to process thoughts, feelings, memories, etc. about my friend Jean and her son Jim. Not really knowing what to do, I pulled out my Bible this morning and started reading passages about death and what it means. I know that Jesus' resurrection secured victory over the grave for His followers, but I wanted more.

Two passages in particular spoke to me this morning.

"But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. . . . For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.

But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive."

1 Corinthians 15:12-13; 16-22 (NIV)

While I know it is the case, I find the reminder helpful, particularly right now. A belief and a relationship with Christ is eternal. If it were only for this life, it would be an artificial and temporary thing. "If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." Instead, though, it is a relationship and a love that lasts beyond death in this life and into eternal life. "For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive."

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. . . . Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord." 2 Corinthians 5:1; 6-8 (NIV)

Again, no deep analysis, I just draw comfort from these words and the image of our temporary tent here on earth compared to our eternal house with the Lord in heaven. I'm pleased to know that my friend is in that place. While there is still a lot of struggling to be done by a lot of people on earth in coming to grips with this, I am pleased to know that my friend is at home with the Lord.

Jean Smith

Jean (then Maloney) and I were great friends in high school. Exchanging notes, talking on the phone for hours, hanging out, stuff like that. Jean got married to another friend, Rick Smith, out of high school and we just kind of lost touch. In fact, I hadn't seen or spoken to Jean in more than 15 years - until last month.

In early November, I received a Facebook friend request from Jean. I couldn't believe it. It came at a great time and really completely made my day to poke around her profile, looking at pictures, reading the things she wrote and just kind of catching up with her life. We exchanged notes and she filled me in on her life, telling me about the four kids that she and Rick had and how great everything was. Although we didn't speak to each other, I felt like Jean was kind of back in my life by seeing her status updates and notes.

This past Friday, at some time between 1 pm, when she was seen at her son's high school,and around 3 pm, when he came home from school, Jean and her oldest son Jim (a sophomore at JMU) were shot and killed in their home in Dale City. The police have not released many details.

Gone.

Like that.

It is a miracle that I had the opportunity to reconnect even to a limited degree before Jean was taken, but I just can't process this. It doesn't make sense.

In our email exchange in early November, Jean summed up everything by saying to me: "Life is pretty darn sweet, and still spectacularly unpredictable." On her own page she once wrote:

"We all chose the times and the places and people where we think we should be. I hope that I am where I am needed, and that I chose wisely. I will have the opportunity to be remembered for what I have done, instead of what I have failed to do . . . ."

The Wall on Jean's Facebook account is flooded with messages from teens and young adults. I can't bring myself to read their last words to her - they seem too private - but I do notice that most of them call her Mama. From what I can tell, Jean, you chose wisely. It seems clear to me that you were where you were needed and making a difference with the people that needed you. There is never going to be a way to explain why this happened, why you were taken from so many of us, but I am confident that you will, indeed, be remembered for what you have done.

Until we see each other again, my friend, rest well.


For all reading this, please pray for Rick, Sarah, Connor and Liam. They are going to need all the prayers we can send their way.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

It is definitely Christmas time. Christmas songs are playing on the radio and in stores. Roadside tree stands are in full operation. Lights are up on people's houses. Some people have wreaths or reindeer antlers on their car. Yes, it is definitely Christmas time.

The famous carol tells us that it is "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." I think my kids would agree with that as they get ready for the toy pay day. But, for some reason, when I talk to people about how they are doing, it doesn't seem like it is the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe it is just my age and the fact that I am now talking mostly to adults or teens. But it seems like I am hearing more stories of depression, or of missing family, or of conflict, or of just general malaise. I can't tell if these things are actually worse than they are at other times of the year, or if they are heightened because it is Christmas time.

Does the idea that it is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year make us feel worse about not being 100%? Does the pressure to bake cookies, buy gifts, run around visiting people and attending events, etc., leave us more run down and tired and focused on what we have yet to accomplish? Is there so much increased stress associated with familial and societal expectations that we are more short tempered? Do we create a romantic ideal of our lives associated with Christmas that we feel bad about failing to meet?

The truth is, I don't know. Maybe it is all of these, maybe it is none of these. But, for some reason as I talk to people it seems like for a lot of people this is, in fact, not the most wonderful time of the year.

I think we need to make it more simple (and yet infinitely more complex). Christmas, and more generally the advent season, is, to me, a celebration of the miracles of the virgin birth and, more significantly, of God's infinite love as shown by the sending of His son to live on earth in human form for the ultimate purpose of dying for our sins. It is a beginning (note the intentional use of "a" instead of "the").

"But the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever and his kingdom will never end.'" Luke 1:30-33 (NIV)

I don't think "the most wonderful time of the year" was even meant to apply to what is going on in our everyday lives. I don't think it is supposed to mean that everything is supposed to be perfect. I don't think it is supposed to mean that everyone is supposed to be happy all the time. I don't think it is supposed to mean that we are all supposed to get a long better. I think it is supposed to mean that we are celebrating a most wondrous event. I think it is supposed to be a reminder that this is a time for a beginning. A reminder that because of what is going on in our lives, because of our stresses, our losses, our concerns, our squabbles, our failures, God sent Jesus into our world and into our lives to show us the way, to help us through. In that context it is exactly because alone we can't ever meet the picture perfect ideal that we create for ourselves that it is, in fact, the most wonderful time of the year.